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Blogger takes on Swadlincote and Stretton in bizarre online rant

A blogger slammed Swadlincote and Stretton in a scathing and bizarre online rant.

The poster says they moved from Stretton to Swadlincote two years ago – and have taken plenty of faults with both locations.

They recognize that Swadlincote is an old mining town, but obviously give little credit to its magnificent industrial past.

Instead, they completely inaccurately refer to “dole dossers” in the city.

Read more stories from Swadlincote

Before even touching on the subject of Swadlincote – which is at the heart of the region that has produced national icons like boxer Jack Bodell and director Deborah Haywood – they are tearing Stretton apart. Having lived there, the blogger should know what a friendly and beautiful area Stretton is.

The message, delivered on, full of gratuitous expletives, bad punctuation and rogue capitalizations, reads: “Hi, I moved to Chavlincote 2 years ago from Brussels (equally poor place but so boring the ***** We couldn’t even bother to max out their cars!) Lived in Stretton before that OK but too many fancy *****s with real Burberry clothes Mum and dad bought them at the Selfridges Christmas Sale.

“Swadlincote is an old mining town so lots of dole dossing ***** with nothing better to do than hang around the school across from me with their drinking 14 year old ********* a strong bow and a concord from the local Offy during school hours.The money obviously came from mum and dad who gave it to them for their 200 Lamberts and Butlers which they will never see.

“Unfortunately for me, there is a regular fair near me on the green which attracts ALL the local *****s and *********s for some serious ****** behavior just to side of York Road if you live here you will know what I mean!

“A typical evening consists of a ********* stroller abandoned on the fence of the local church. God forbid where the baby is. It’s just disturbing. According to your article, most ***** love R and B ect… Unfortunately Swadlinchavs don’t even have the IQ to understand the lyrical content of such a dross so they have to listen to Happyhardcore My god what an absolute abomination of dance music.

“That ‘music’ emanates from their equally poor car audio systems, so loud your windows might shatter when one of the many maxed out C reg Vauxhall Novas rumbles at 10 MPH.

“Swadlinchav is ***** paradise, may I recommend everyone ***** to read this (if they can) to experience the many attractive waterholes in my idyllic village (well, that would be if ***** * ***** off) For an outdoor gathering may I suggest the local park where you can pick up used needles for free.

“For a fuller party, ***** can go to the Under 18 Disco Party at the local community center where 14-year-old *****s can wait for a **** sneak in a beer or two or take them for a ‘Ride’ in their maxpower mobile. Enough to get the picture.”

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